In Treatment, Can I Refuse to Answer Questions?

Reader’s Question

I went to a psychologist and told him that I did not want to answer certain questions regarding my sexual life. He insisted that I answer them anyway. In addition he also insulted me several times. When seeking psychological help can you refuse to answer certain questions, and do you have to accept insults from the psychologist?

– In Tears

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

It’s not uncommon for psychologists and other mental health professionals to ask questions about a client’s sexual history and activity. We also ask about social relationships, sleep, medical issues, and a host of other questions.

It’s also not uncommon for a client to place certain areas of their life or information “off limits” during the session, just as you did with this psychologist. This is a legal and ethical right of the client. Many clients take this approach because they are unsure about the therapist and are not yet comfortable discussing certain topics. A good therapist does not take that approach personally and recognizes not only the client’s right to refuse discussion in certain areas but the client’s need to protect those sensitive areas of their life.

Insisting that you answer certain questions, especially when you have informed the psychologist that you did not want to answer questions in that area, can be considered verbally abusive. Insulting you is also considered verbally abusive and unethical. You are under no obligation to accept or tolerate aggressive questioning in sensitive areas and you are clearly under no obligation to tolerate insults from a mental health professional.

I would immediately find another mental health professional. In fact, I often advise people to seek a therapist who is a good fit for their personality. View the first session as a consultation — an opportunity to see if the therapist has a personality, disposition, and style that is comfortable for you. Every profession has a small percentage of members who are abrasive, irritating, and even unethical. If you find one of these as you seek treatment — move on. You’ve done nothing wrong and are totally correct to be concerned that the professional behavior of this individual was inappropriate.