Obsessive Thoughts About Sexual Abuse

Reader’s Question

Whenever I hear stories about young children being sexually abused, it enrages and saddens me so deeply, that I cannot stop the thoughts of how they suffered in my mind. No matter what I do to stop it they replay over and over. I feel like my mind just keeps racing, to the point where I have headaches. I was never abused in any way but I have two young boys that I am absolutely terrified that this might happen to. This thinking can be really bad for several days, to the point it affects my family around me and my well being. I just need help figuring out why these thoughts keep running through my head constantly causing me great stress.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

While it’s normal to experience sadness, sympathy, empathy, and even a reaction of anger and rage when we hear stories of abuse — your reaction is outside that range. The repetitive, obsessive thoughts that produce headaches; the racing mind speed; and sense of terror are evidence that you are probably experiencing high stress or depression in your life. When depressed, the brain has low levels of a neurotransmitter called Serotonin. Low Serotonin creates severe fatigue, appetite problems, poor concentration, sleep problems, and obsessive, repetitive thoughts. When depressed, the brain torments us and will often become obsessed with a thought/behavior/idea. Importantly, the depressed brain never selects a pleasant thought, it’s always something very uncomfortable and directly related to our personal areas of concern. If we have small children — it’s abuse. If we have aches and pains, it’s a fatal illness.

I’d recommend reading up on depression. Take a few of the depression screening tests on this website. My professional website (www.drjoecarver.com) has several articles on depression and brain chemistry. I’d then review my current stresses. How much pressure have I been under and for how long? If you suspect depression, which is most likely in your case, treatment recommendations include:

• consideration of an antidepressant medication,
• counseling/therapy,
• depression education,
• stress-reduction methods such as physical exercise, and
• identification of issues that are creating your stress and attempts to bring them under control.

As you come out of your depression, the obsessive thoughts will cease. You’ll always be upset by stories of child abuse — you’re a healthy and protective parent! When our feelings and thoughts become obsessive — we need to address the obsessive mechanism, not the nature of the thoughts.