Will Living a Year with Grandparents Harm Our 18 Month Old Son?

Reader’s Question

I have a son who is 18 moths old. Due to our everyday commitments my wife (part-time worker and full time student) and I (full time worker) are having problems providing the care our son should have. At the moment we rely on childcare centres, but he’s been very sick since he started going there. I guess this is normal but we just don’t think this is the best solution. My parents-in-law live overseas, and they have offered themselves to look after him for an entire year allowing my wife to finish her studying. They love our son very much and we have no doubts that he will be safe and well looked after. Because he is very close to us my only concern is how our son is going to cope with the change. Is there any chance of having permanent physiological (psychological) problems?

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

At the age of your son, it is unlikely he would experience emotional/psychological damage if he is loved and cared for by your parents. In truth, the distance involved and the departure of your son during that time will have more emotional impact on you and your wife than on your son. Your son will quickly adapt to the change in caregivers, just like they do in babysitting and daycare placements, but new parents will have a difficult adjustment. After the year, your son will have some separation anxiety (as will the grandparents!) when he returns to your home but that will gradually disappear as he readapts to life with you.

If you decide to take this one-year option, arrange for frequent visits if possible and strong communication links between your home and your parents. Six months ago I purchased webcameras for my adult children. Each home then activated a free webcam phone network (Skype, etc.). I can now see and talk to my adult children and my five grandchildren any night of the week using the computer and webcam. If your parents have a computer, this is easily arranged. Such a personal level of communication will help you and your spouse tolerate the time away from your son while studies are finished.

Rate this post?

(2 votes, average: 3 out of 5)

 Loading ...