Feeling Down for Quite a Bit…Suggestions?

Reader’s Question

I’ve been feeling down for quite a bit. I am a 54 year old woman and have had these bouts for many years. I am about 75 pounds overweight and have put a lot of judgment on myself regarding this flaw. When I’m participating in life, I am strong, generous, optimistic, caring and like a calm lifestyle. I love the beach, music and prefer a yoga lifestyle, but when I’m down, just can’t follow it in the least.

I prefer not to take any meds (for I’m on so many already for diabetes, GERD, and cholesterol). My question to you is why do I have such a hard time getting out of my house? Sometimes it takes at least 3 days or more for me to get out there…and then when I’m out…I don’t want to come home. My marriage is not the greatest and the kids, now 19 and 22, are out of the house most of the time.

I only have a high school education and don’t know where I fit in the workforce anymore. We are just above the poverty level and if I take a low paying job, I will lose all of my medical benefits, food stamps and rent reduction. I feel like I am trapped in so many ways.

Any suggestions, that might help?? Thank you.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Right now it sounds like you’re trapped by depression. Your question contains several situations that we know produce depression — marital issues, boredom, social isolation, financial concerns, poor self-esteem, and the “empty nest” of two children out of the home. In chronic depression, the recommendation isn’t always “return to work” — it’s “return to life”. You’re gradually sliding into social withdrawal and now having difficulty getting out of the house. This is common in chronic depression.

Suggestions:

• Read about and research depression. Take a few of the depression screening tests available on this website. I think you’ll see your symptoms there.
• Consider the use of an antidepressant. The fact that you already take medications is actually a positive as you have contact with a physician who knows your medical situation very well and can prescribe an antidepressant that fits well with your other meds.
• Consider seeing an counselor/therapist. Many mental health treatment programs have a “sliding fee scale” or can be provided under your current medical insurance coverage.
• Return to life. Consider volunteer work, helping at various social programs or churches.
• Remember that the “old you” — that strong and optimistic individual — is still here. It’s just smothered by depression at this time.
• If you’ve had depression before, you know that it requires you to take action to get rid of it. Depression is not likely to disappear on its own.

Good luck and get started on your return to life.