My E-Therapist and I Met in a Dating Chat Room

Reader’s Question

I am in therapy with a psychologist through e-therapy. I recently learned in my second session that he and I were together in the same dating chat room. He disclosed a lot of personal information to me and vice versa. What should I do?

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

I would recommend finding another therapist. You didn’t mention if he was aware of the previous contact, but for both of you, it creates what we call a “dual relationship”. Self-disclosure by a therapist/counselor is typically offered only when it facilitates progress in therapy/treatment — not to facilitate a romantic or social relationship. Lots of personal information in two settings would likely have a negative impact on your treatment.

If he is aware of the other connection in the date chat room, he should refer you to another therapist. If he is aware yet ignoring the risk in a dual relationship situation — you should find another therapist. It is his ethical responsibility to make you aware of any relationships or situation that might harm your progress in therapy and treatment. I would also avoid contacts with him in the date chat room, as your knowledge of him in a professional role would complicate that situation as well.

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