I’m Hearing Voices All the Time Again

Reader’s Question

I’m hearing voices all the time again lately and they are saying things to me that are distressing, very clear and derogatory much of the time. I’ve been experiencing other strange things, like I passed a policeman the other day, and I swear he looked right at me and pointed at me with his hand like a gun. Since then, I’ve been extremely fearful that the police are coming to get me.

I also went to the library searching for a book of spells because I found a patch of ground where the vegetation looks like a human form and there is a guy under there that I have to save. I can’t go to the store now because everyone looks at me and is talking about me. I went to the gas station and while I was getting gas, the newscaster on the TV screen on the pump looked right at me and said, “Strike three, you’re out.”

Then I looked at the news on the internet and saw an article about Japanese people taking their lives by mixing laundry detergent and other common household items, creating toxic fumes. I thought I was supposed to die to save the world, but then all my thoughts got downloaded out of my head at the end of the day, so I called my only friend because I knew something wasn’t right. Well, I think I annoyed him. I couldn’t stop crying and I couldn’t verbalize what was wrong and so he doesn’t understand.

Anytime I drive somewhere now I can feel the energy of the beings in cars around me and I know some of them aren’t actually human. They came in through a tear in the tangent universe and they know I know they’re here. At times, I drift off and experience these vivid dream-like states. It’s only afterwards I find that I wasn’t “there.” I spend my days off and have unstructured time in bed and am unable to make myself do anything. It’s like I can’t help it, but yet a part of me recognizes that these things aren’t right. I’m under huge stress right now and I think it’s making my symptoms worse.

I’ve been diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder, Depressive Type, for the past 5 years and am on 15mg Abilify, 300mg Wellbutrin XL and 150mg Effexor XR. I don’t feel depressed or empty, but I don’t know exactly what I do feel.

Something just feels wrong. I don’t want to end up in the hospital again because I will get fired if that happens again. Forget the ADA, they will find a reason. I see my psychiatrist next week, but I don’t know if I can open up to him. I usually just tell him I’m fine and he leaves my meds alone and I’m done in like 5 minutes. I was in therapy for a long time, but had to change healthcare providers because of insurance reasons and lost my wonderful therapist and then didn’t start up therapy again after the change last year. I’ve pretty much alienated everyone I know and my confidence is completely undermined.

I don’t know if I need a therapist to help me with these things, or a med change or what?

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

You are experiencing an increase in some very serious psychiatric symptoms. The increase in frequency and intensity of your auditory hallucinations, delusions (false beliefs) and paranoia tells me that medication changes may be necessary. I would strongly recommend that you discuss the increase in your symptoms with your attending psychiatrist. Your situation may be manageable with a medication change. I would also suggest returning to therapy. One of the side effects of not having a therapist/counselor is the inability to discuss, ventilate, and review your symptoms on a regular basis. When no therapist/counselor is available, we begin collecting hallucinations and delusions to the point that they intensify…as in your situation.

It’s extremely important that you discuss your situation with your psychiatrist. He may also have a good therapist he can recommend. Until that time, you need to recognize that your brain chemistry is on overload, producing hundreds of misperceptions and misinterpretations of reality each day.