I’m Feeling Stressed and Aggressive

Reader’s Question

I’m a 19-year-old male college student and I’ve been getting irritated very easily and have been feeling random moments of intense aggression. It’s been affecting my relationships with everyone… What is this and what should I do about it?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

This is probably your first encounter with a high level of stress. We forget sometimes that stress is also associated with situations that are very positive — such as leaving home, college enrollment, friends, etc. Stress is that sense of increased obligation and responsibility that causes our brain chemistry to respond by increasing chemicals and hormones. We develop a sense of being on-edge, become irritable, take the comments of others very personally and defensively, have a sense of internal emotional pressure if not anger/rage, find little pleasure in our life events, and feel that others are constantly pressuring us to meet their expectations.

Based on what you’ve told me, I would suggest this situation is new for you, but fairly normal. If you look at the changes in your life over the past 18 months — you’ll get a good idea of what your personality has been through. When we begin to feel overwhelmed by stress, responsibility, and obligations — we need to:

• Take an inventory: Is there anything that can be reduced or changed to lower stress?
• Eat healthy. You can’t combat stress if you’re not fueling the body.
• Research the Internet for stress-reduction tips and activities.
• Find things that are relaxing, perhaps talking to family.
• Don’t overuse alcohol as it adds to your problems.
• Get plenty of rest as fatigue increases our stress.
• Discuss your stress with others. Do they have positive strategies?

Every college student must confront these issues. Many fail which is why about 30% of college freshman don’t return to college the next year. Some fail due to ineffective or negative stress strategies such as alcohol, drugs, partying, video games, etc. While many students view college as an independent-living form of high school, it’s adult business — and serious business. Successful students develop strategies to deal with the pressures of college and those with successful strategies often continue those strategies and priorities into their adult careers.

You can also find support at your college counseling center. They typically provide counseling to students at no fee.