Why Does PMS Make Life So Difficult for Me?

Reader’s Question

Why does PMS make life so difficult for me? It’s like blacking out! I get soooo irrational and so emotional. I am even crying writing this question. I don’t know how to control this; I start crying at work, I start crying for every single thing that is wrong in my life (that I usually don’t cry over).

I need to control this. I am afraid my outburst will cost me my job and fiancee! (emotional outburst — crying)

I don’t want to use the pill ever again. How can I control these emotions I experience when having PMS?

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

The best way to think of your situation is an example of an automobile that “runs hot”. The engine is always under a certain amount of excessive heat, running hotter than normal. Slight increases in engine use, however — increases in speed, going up a hill, towing something — cause the engine to overheat and your “Engine” or “Temperature” light comes on in the dashboard.

As you hint in your question, suggesting that during your cycle you cry over every single thing that is wrong in your life, you are probably suffering from a chronic, moderate depression — frequently near tearfulness or upset but at least under control. Each month, the onset of PMS overloads your already depressed emotional system and your “excessive heat” indicators light up — crying spells, increased sensitivity, emotional outbursts, etc. This is a very common experience. Each month, the onset of PMS is the “last straw” for your overloaded emotional system, causing your breakdown. You’ll know you have the chronic, moderate depression due to low energy level, near-crying at times, sleep and appetite problems, low sex drive, poor motivation, social withdrawal, irritability, etc.

I would recommend consulting your OB/GYN and discussing the symptoms you reported to me. This is a common experience and can usually be treated with an antidepressant. You should also consider counseling/therapy to reduce the stressors that are keeping you near the overheating point. Your experience is easily treated and help is readily available.