How Do I Find the Right Therapist?

Reader’s Question

Thanks for taking the time to consider my question — it means a lot to me since I don’t know to whom I could ask it otherwise. My problem is that for the last 2 1/2 years of my life I’ve been seeing therapists but have gotten next to nothing out of them. I’m not quite sure what to do in order to find the right one. When I was living out of state I managed to find someone that worked with me, but that ended incomplete since I had to return home. In order to stop wasting my time, money, and effort, how do you suggest that I find someone that will work with me?

I have problems with suppressed emotions (anger being the most prominent), social anxiety, depression, and a strong tendency to overanalyze everything. I currently take medication which helps me stay mobilized, although it can increase the speed of my thoughts at times.
Hopefully this helps in being more specific, and once again, thank you for reading this. I really want to solve these problems…I don’t know how I can go on like this indefinitely.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

As you discovered, all therapists are different in personality, style, and even treatment approaches. Therapists vary in their participation in the therapy process — some are very supportive while others supply reading materials, education, etc. As an overanalyzer, you may prefer a therapist that is more cognitive or technical, for example. The goal is to find a therapist that is a “good fit” for you. Some guidelines:

1. A therapist can only work with the case presented. Approach each therapist with total honesty and a good effort. Don’t hold back out of fear it may not work out for you.
2. I would recommend the “stereo speaker test”. As a music buff, I tested all potential speakers by carrying the same CD to each audio store — testing all speakers on the same song (”Roundabout” by Yes). I then had a way of comparing which speakers sounded better. The speakers that amazed me with the same song — I bought those speakers. Contact several therapists in your area and request a “consultation”. Present each with the same background, concerns, and questions. The therapist that provides you with the best response is probably the best fit for you.
3. Overanalyzing and increased thought speed are indications of neurochemical levels. Be sure to continue your medications while in therapy. A combination of medication and therapy produces the best treatment response.
4. Don’t forget to discuss your concerns about not progressing with any therapist. Don’t attend therapy and not make progress. The I’m-not-making-progress discussion can often be the most important discussion of your treatment program.

[Editor's Note: We also have a dedicated page with additional questions to consider when selecting a counsellor or therapist.]