Forty-One Year Old Friend Calls Her Parents by Their First Names

Reader’s Question

I have a friend who calls her parents by their first names. She said it started when she was 5 years old and was afraid that if she was lost she would not remember her parents’ first names and started calling them by their first name at that early age and is still doing it all these years. She is 41 years old now. Can you tell me why she would be doing that long after she grew up? Thank you.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Most likely she calls them by their first name out of habit at this point. This situation is very similar to having a childhood nickname. It probably developed like most nicknames — she began calling them by their first name, they thought it was cute, and the habit continued from that point. It doesn’t suggest anything psychopathological and doesn’t suggest that she views her parents as anyone other than Mom and Dad. While it seems odd to outsiders, both she and her parents are comfortable with this childhood behavior. All those involved would feel uncomfortable if the names would change. If you’ve always called your parents “Mom” and “Dad” — imagine their reaction if you suddenly started calling them “Mommie Dearest” or “Father Dear”. This has been going on for over 35 years and no one thinks much about it…except those who observe it from the outside.