Sexual Aggressiveness During Sleepwalking

Reader’s Question

I have some problems with swearing and it is affecting my relationship with my fiancé. I love her too much and we will be married this year. I can’t live without her so most of the time I stay at her place and I sleep in her room but I never touch her physically. Some days she is complaining that I am tending to do wrong with her, but I didn’t know anything.

Last night when my fiancé woke me up in night I was sleeping on the floor outside the room. I looked around and then I asked her why I was there because I didn’t know anything and there was nothing in my mind. She told me that an hour ago, I was demanding to have sex with her and I caught her strongly and wanted to do something wrong.

She stopped me forcefully and tried to make me in control many times but I wanted to do it forcefully and when she didn’t allow me I went out the room and went near stairs and slept there. But after waking up I didn’t remember anything and even I didn’t know about what my fiancé told me.

I am worried about it because I don’t want anything wrong in both of our relations and she doesn’t want any physical interaction before marriage. But this thing is affecting our relationship because it is happening continuously whenever I stay at her place.

This thing is out of my senses. I never know what I was saying or doing. I don’t know what should I do? Do I have any mental problem? Do I need any treatment please tell me and suggest me some treatment.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Sexual drives and urges can be very strong. Sleeping overnight with her in her room is the problem. The sexual tension created by that situation will create problems for you. If you want to honor your mutual decision to withhold intimacy until marriage, I would recommend that you sleep in a different room or not spend the night at her home. Under stress, our dreams and fantasies can produce sleepwalking — sometimes with negative consequences as you have witnessed. This is not a mental problem but it is a human sexual biology problem. The best treatment is distance when you sleep rather than risk offending her or damaging the relationship.