Lost Family and Fiance, Now Harming Myself

Reader’s Question

I have been through a lot in the last 2 years, with family and my fiance taken away. Before he was gone I was depressed and cried all the time and somehow I turned to cutting myself. It was the first time and I didn’t do it again for awhile till he was gone. I have lost a lot of weight in a short time (and I was not big before), and now I self harm a lot. The other day I had a panic attack from it as all sorts of pressure built up in me. One minute I feel fine and strangely hyper and happy after all the pain I go through now — then in a split second I’m depressed and trying to kill myself. I often have images in my head of myself dying and ways to do so, or in a lot of pain. I always think everyone is against me, or talking about me. And with my weight loss I’m so paranoid of putting on weight. I think I’m fat and everyone says I’m not but I know I am and I just keep wanting to lose more because I’m not perfect. I don’t eat much. I skip meals and I sleep a lot whenever I get the chance. Is their something wrong with me? I don’t know where to turn anymore. I’m desperate. I can’t cope with myself.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

The last two years have emotionally and physically exhausted you, producing a severe depressive reaction. Self-injury behavior as well as eating disorders are all associated with depression and low levels of Serotonin in the brain. You are in serious need of mental health intervention. You can get help by contacting your family physician, the local mental health agencies, or mental health professionals in private practice in your area. You need to seek help as soon as possible as this situation will not likely disappear on its own.

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