I Think I’m A Loser. What Can I Do?

Reader’s Question

I read one of the featured articles “Dating a Loser” and I think I am one — a loser. Not every indicator describes how I am, but most do. Would the “loser” personality also be called (clinically) borderline? If so, there is no “cure” for this, right?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

The Loser article is based on the characteristics of four personality disorders (psychiatric diagnoses): Antisocial, Narcissistic, Histrionic and Borderline. Without knowing what characteristics you have, I can’t say that your symptoms would fit a specific personality disorder diagnosis. However, I frequently receive your question.

I would recommend printing the Loser article, circling the “signs” that you feel apply to you, and taking the handout to a mental health professional. You can present the professional with the list and get a better picture of what personality features are giving you difficulty in relationships. The professional can also let you know what type of treatment is available for your behaviors or symptoms. We do have recommended treatments for Borderline Personality for example. Working on eliminating those Loser characteristics will increase your chances for healthy, successful relationships in the future.