Do I Have a Psychosomatic Illness?

Reader’s Question

At the age of 16 my mother passed away. When I was 17, I developed ulcerative colitis and have been experiencing “flare-ups” ever since. I am pretty sure that the onset of the illness was mostly due to the fact that I never grieved my mother’s death. I know that this is something that must happen, however I seem to be very disconnected from these emotions. I also recently discovered that I was severely hurt (emotionally) by someone and didn’t even realize it until several years later. What is the closest psychological disorder that I may have? What type of people develop psychosomatic illnesses? How can I grieve or make it occur? Thank you for your time.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

You may not have a psychological disorder at all, with the exception of stress. Ulcerative colitis is one of many physical conditions that are strongly linked to stress. Stress activates a variety of physical processes in our body and in my experience, everyone gets something. Stress produces colitis, ulcers, constipation, stomach problems, in some — headaches, increased asthma, chest pain, and even seizures in others. Stress can also produce panic attacks and a variety of psychological symptoms as well. Ulcerative colitis is one of those stress-related medical conditions and it will have flare-ups each time your stress increases.

I’m sure you did grieve your mother’s death at 16. In fact, the stress of that event probably started your ulcerative colitis. At this point, you might be thinking you need to grieve differently. In truth, people grieve differently and in different ways. If you have disconnected emotions related to her death, you were probably overwhelmed at the time. That doesn’t mean you need to grieve her loss again. I would caution you that depression, when we have that condition, always scans our memory for our worst life experiences — then forces us to refeel and relive those events. If you are currently depressed, your brain will make you rethink your mother’s passing again.

I would recommend consulting with a mental health professional. Treatment for stress might decrease your colitis symptoms. I would not encourage you to try to regrieve the loss of your mother at this point.

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