Self-Disclosure of Personal Issues by a Psychologist

Reader’s Question

I see a psychologist on a regular basis. I know some personal info about him (in the middle of horrible divorce). He talks about his wife during sessions, sometimes using their relationship as examples. Should I tell him I know that his stories aren’t true or just quit seeing him? Should I trust someone even though I know he doesn’t always tell the truth?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

There are several uncomfortable issues here. First, you’ve lost confidence and trust in your therapist. That’s not good. That reason alone should prompt you to consider transferring to another therapist/psychologist.

Second, there is an issue here regarding therapist self-disclosure. As a general theme, a therapist should only provide personal information (self-disclosure) when that information facilitates progress in therapy. If I self-disclose that I was arrested as a teen for running a red light while riding on a shopping cart — the purpose is to acknowledge that everyone has goofy experiences in their past and they can overcome those incidents and have a career…that similar incidents (like the one by the client at the time of the disclosure) are not devestating…just embarrassing. In your situation, your psychologist appears to be self-disclosing too much, only “sometimes” using their relationship as an example. Disclosures that involve community people are also inappropriate.

Lastly, divorce is extremely stressful. Your psychologist may be too distressed or preoccupied with his own life situation. If his difficulties intrude into your sessions, you can either confront him about the issue or move on. Telling him his stories aren’t true is likely to prompt even more problems in the treatment relationship.

By the way, they dropped the charges after everyone had a good laugh.