Adolescent Son’s Fear of Underwear

Reader’s Question

My son has this irritating issue with bras and underwear. He is 15 and has an absolute fit if he has to touch bras or underwear even to help fold clothes. It drives me crazy. Can you provide me with some insight into this issue? Can you tell me what would cause such an issue and what can be done to correct the issue now?

He has only been like this for about 3 years. He makes such an issue over the fact that a bra or underwear has even touched his clothes like in the washer. It has come to the point of washing clothes seperately because the hassle of hearing him freak out is not worth it. Please give me some insight.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

There are several situations that might produce his fear of underwear, especially female underwear. Most likely, it’s a symptom of obsessive-compulsive features that are emerging. Many folks with OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) develop such fears and rituals (to avoid specific objects) due to concerns about contamination. It’s along the germ-phobic line. If this is true, he will have a variety of other OCD symptoms such as orderliness, preoccupation with schedules, counting, superstitutous rituals, strong preferences in clothing, etc. In a possible option, your son may have experienced a stressful experience three years ago which prompted a form of depression. OCD features often surface when we’re depressed due to the link between depression and OCD with low levels of brain Serotonin (a neurotransmitter).

It’s also possible that he has developed a type of phobia. At this time, there are no labels for a phobia that involves a fear of underwear (that I’m aware of). If it’s a phobia, he will probably have other phobias as well.

Another complex possibility is a combination of puberty onset and emotional memory. Emotional memory is the brain mechanism that produces emotional reactions to an object or situation that reminds us of a previous experience. There’s an article on this subject on this website. As teenagers move into puberty, they develop a lot of reactions to clothing, pictures, and objects linked to their emerging sexuality…and the sexuality of others. At the elementary school level, underwear might be funny for example. As our sexuality emerges as a teenager, we recognize that opposite-sex underwear may be producing a different type of feeling — one that is very uncomfortable. When this happens, we develop an aversion or fear of underwear. This is especially true when teenagers going through puberty DON’T want to go through puberty, don’t want to advance in their sexual development, or don’t want to think about sexual issues in their life. When this happens, each exposure to opposite-sex underwear produces an uncomfortable emotional reaction…which is rather common considering his age.

The key factor is how severe the reaction and how widespread the symptoms. If you are seeing other unusual behaviors, especially those related to OCD, then more symptoms are likely to emerge. If the reaction is specific to only underwear, then it’s likely the last option — a type of sexual immaturity where female underwear gives him “the creeps” and he’s not quite ready to deal with his sexuality or that of others as yet. He will likely outgrow “the creeps” of underwear. If multiple symptoms are involved, as well as a fear of underwear, a mental health consultation is recommended.