My Friend Insults Me When Another Friend is Around
Clinical psychologist Dr Joseph M Carver, PhD, offers replies to reader questions submitted anonymously to Ask the Psychologist.
Reader’s Question
I am a college girl. I went for a vacation 7 days ago. My friend’s mom is my life. I love her so much. She is my 1 best friend I knowwwwww it. I know I have particular space in her heart. But during vacation she avoided me and was always with her best friend. They told me about my eating style and insulted me so much. She forgot my presence and asked me how will you do an MBA with your eating style. I have no personality and she tells that to all my friends. You can’t imagine how I have cried the last 3 days. I got fever. I think she is my life as my family is not good. She is the person who was my support. We had been great friends…she shared all her pain with me.
Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply
This woman has a special relationship with you and that hasn’t changed. What changed is the presence of her best friend. She has a different type of relationship with her best same-age friend and for that reason, will act differently in her presence. It’s like having a good relationship with your younger brother or sister but teasing them when a few of your same-age friends visit your home. Try not to take it personally. She will remain your friend and supporter, but when her other friend is around, you will become a “young woman” and she will try to offer parenting advice.
Keep in mind — you have a personality. It’s probably just very shy. I would recommend counseling or college-counseling to build your self-esteem and change parts of your personality that create anxiety for you.
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