Manic Episodes in Husband…What Should the Spouse Do?

Reader’s Question

This is a question involving bipolar. My husband is dual diagnosis bipolar 1, rapid cycling, borderline personality disorder that is currently medically compliant, but resistant, and currently is sober, but still cycles. I have read all about bipolar and symptoms, etc. However, no one ever talks about the personal hell bipolar spouses go through during episodes.

Is there anything you recommend on how to keep our mental health clear?

Is there anything you recommend that we do when our spouses are in episode but think there is nothing wrong with them? With the mental health laws unless he is a danger to himself or others, he can pretty much run amuck.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

During manic episodes, the general theme for the spouse is often protection. Emotional protection from the often abusive or bizarre behavior of the mania and Personal Protection from the impaired judgment, poor impulse control, and wild/amuck ideas. Many families have been destroyed financially, socially, legally, and emotionally during a manic episode by one of the marital partners.

During calm, medication-compliant periods, it’s often helpful to set up restrictions and protections in anticipation of a manic episode. As the wife, for example, placing access to family checking, savings, etc. in your name or requiring your co-signature is often helpful. I have a Bipolar patient who on a whim traded his truck for a motorcycle (at a $15,000 loss!) to ride to a biker convention because he was being “called” by ESP to the event. While at the event, he purchased another automobile as the motorcycle ride was so uncomfortable (900 miles). In all, both were repossessed and the family was forced to declare bankruptcy. Again, protection is the main theme.

Emotional protection is also helpful. Maintaining contact with a therapist yourself will be helpful. Keeping your stability during those manic times is very important to the family. People can dance on an airplane as long as the pilot is stable. In your family, you’re the pilot. Watch for emotional exhaustion and depression.

Lastly, you may need to use community resources (mental health centers, law enforcement, etc.) as you deal with manic episodes. Sadly, many manic episodes end with an arrest, prompting a hospitalization that finally ends the period of running amuck.