Daughter Involved with a Manipulative Boyfriend

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Our resident clinical psychologists offer replies to reader questions submitted anonymously to Ask the Psychologist.

Reader’s Question

Q:

I need help. My daughter’s boyfriend is a manipulator, and my husband and I don’t care for him. Our daughter said don’t bother coming here if you don’t like him. We read your article on manipulators that you have on the site. That is very good. We see a lot of the boyfriend. Thank you to be there. I need an answer. I’m very hurt.

Canada

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

A:

The article entitled Identifying Losers in Relationships on this website describes the techniques used by controllers, abusers, and manipulative individuals. I have another article entitled Love and Stockholm Syndrome. It’s available on this website as well. It looks at ways to deal with a controlling and manipulative individual in the family. I would also recommend reviewing the discussion groups on Losers and Stockholm Syndrome on this website. Your situation is not unusual. You’ll need to maintain contact with her at a safe distance. That will allow you to maintain contact with your daughter as well as reminding the manipulator that you’re still there, watching the situation as parents.

About the Author: A Clinical Psychologist with 36 years in the field, Dr Carver is currently in practice in southern Ohio in the US. He became Consulting Psychologist with CounsellingResource.com in 2007.

This article was last reviewed by Dr Greg Mulhauser, Managing Editor on Tuesday, 9th October 2007. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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