Bipolar Friend…or Something Else?

Reader’s Question

I’m concerned about a friend of mine. I was reading about bipolar on the net, and it sounds to me as if she has Hypomania. She does use unwise behavior, and goes on spending sprees. She can be irrational, abuses alcohol, and is always looking for men to satisfy some inner need. She talks a mile a minute, and doesn’t complete the thought until she has jumped all over the place in a conversation. She is married with children. My question is: If someone is bipolar, do they have a tendency to be in denial that they have a problem to the point of blaming others for their behavior? Do they understand what they are doing? Thank you so much.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Bipolar is a possibility here…but so is a Personality Disorder. As you describe, Hypomanic behavior can be very damaging to finances, relationships, and social reputation. If she is hypomanic, there will typically be evidence of a change in her brain chemistry, producing sleeplessness, very elated/high mood, inability to be calm, etc. Importantly, folks don’t typically remain in a hypomanic state for long periods at a time. If what you describe is what others view as her long-standing personality — then she may have a personality disorder.

Individuals with a personality disorder can have the same traits you describe. As a personality disorder, they have certain features such as:

1. they deny personal responsibility for their behavior — someone else is at fault, made them do it, etc.
2. they have a huge sense of entitlement — they deserve money, clothes, attention, respect, etc.
3. they are very self-centered, demanding, attention-seeking, etc. and
4. they have a history of unstable relationships.

They do know what they are doing, in fact, they may plan it…but they feel entitled to do it. Very selfish, they are more concerned with their immediate needs than the financial security of the family, reaction of the spouse, etc. When you confront their behavior, for example, they are often offended that you would question their behavior. Unwise and irrational behavior, if we think about it, is typically selfish and impulsive behavior — something very common in personality disorders.

For additional reading, you may want to look up histrionic, borderline, or antisocial personalities.