I’m 41 and Losing All Hope

Reader’s Question

I’m now 41 and I feel like I’m losing all hope. I have been incredibly happy in my life, despite many tough times. I made it through each, and I’m sure I will this time, but it seems more difficult this go around. My trust in so many people has been crushed in the past year, both in personal relationships and in business. While before I think I made it through because I felt I could trust someone, I am so afraid to do this again. I don’t believe I could handle the rejection again. The only positive is I know where I’m at in my life, but for the first time, I don’t see an ending worth waiting for.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

From your brief description, you are experiencing a stress-produced depression. It sounds like several of your “foundation” relationships and trusts have been shaken over the past few years. When this happens, we are often emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed, producing a clinical depression. To complicate matters, when depressed at your age, our brain often does a mental life review — liking watching the video of our life — emphasizing all the bad decisions and especially “the road not taken”.

While having this type of depression is serious and dangerous to you, there are some bright spots. First, this is very common. About one of every four adults will experience this at some point in their life. Second, we understand and know what it is now. You can review the articles on depression on this website. You’ll find the condition is well-researched. Lastly, it’s relatively easy to treat. We have medications and therapies that are specifically designed to treat this type of depression.

I’d recommend reading about depression. I have a handout on Chemical Imbalance and Understanding Depression on my website at www.drjoecarver.com. You can also use some of the tests on this website to explore your condition. I would strongly recommend consulting a psychiatrist regarding this level of depression. If a psychiatrist is not readily available, a family physician can be of help. This is very treatable so I’d recommend that you start your treatment adventure as quickly as possible.

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