I’m Emotionally Hypersensitive. Can You Help?

Reader’s Question

I believe I am emotionaly hypersensitive person. My problem is that many situations make me cry. I know that in the most of those situtations I have no reason to cry but I just can’t help myself — tears are just coming. I want to lower this sensitivity, so could you advise me? Can you please refer me to some resources on the web or tell me the methods for lowering hypersensitivity? Can a conversation about this problem with my loved one, who is also my best friend, also help me?

Thank you in advance!

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

There are many positive and wonderful personality and emotional features that have side effects. Emotional sensitivity is considered by many as a gift. Rather than lowering your emotional sensitivity, it’s better to learn to manage it. Some tips:

• Always be prepared for an emotional expression. Carry tissues.
• Prepare a “press release” to cover commonly-encountered social situations. As a psychologist, I’m often asked by folks who don’t know me well “Are you analyzing me?”. My press release is (in a joking tone) “If I haven’t asked about your insurance coverage, then I’m not analyzing”. A prepared press release might be “I come from a long line of sensitive people. We keep the tissue companies in business”.
• When approaching emotional situations like sad movies, funerals, weddings, etc. let your friends know that you might tear-up, but there’s nothing to worry about. When friends see other friends upset or tearful, they feel bad as well as obligated to help. Assuring them that it’s OK from your standpoint is very helpful.
• Review your stress level. Emotional hypersensitivity can increase under stress, as though we are a pressure cooker and it doesn’t take much to let the steam out. Use stress-reduction techniques available on the internet.
• As you mentioned, talk with your friends. That allows us to gradually release our internal pressure in a comfortable social setting.
• I’d also recommend looking at your sensitivity differently. It’s not a problem…it’s who you are. It’s a positive psychological characteristic. People without emotional sensitivity are given a psychiatric diagnosis — not you.

Hope this reply is helpful.