Traveling, and Afraid I’ll Get Homesick

Reader’s Question

Doctor I need your help. My name is Mike, and I’m 31 years old and from North Carolina. I have never left that state before as far as vacation or anything else. I have been dating this girl I have for like about a year and I will be going on vacation in 2 weeks with her to Jamaica. Now the issue is that I am very very nervous about spending 10 days on an island just with her. I have no issue with her and we both love each other; however, leaving the state for the first time is very scary for me. I live at home with my mom. I take care of her but she is OK to handle herself; however, leaving here and getting home sick is what I am fearing. I really don’t know what to do. I am afraid I might freak out in Jamaica and will want to fly back home. Please help. I have been dating this girl for about a year now.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Everyone is scared when doing something new and different. No one is calm driving a car for the first time, the first date, the first job interview — that kind of thing. Your trip to Jamaica will have a lot of “first times” — first time for air flight or a cruise, being out of the state and country, airports and ports, away from home, etc. Rather than looking at it as being scared, I’d recommend looking at the situation as being excited. It’s something new and exciting. You’ve going to have an adventure.

Keep in mind that folks who are excited about an adventure still make plans to keep themselves safe and secure. If you’re going to Jamaica, your girlfriend is probably a traveler. Ask her advice on packing, how an airport works, what not to pack or say, etc. Ask her how she keeps in-touch with folks back home. Admit that you’re new at this and she’ll be happy to teach you. If the situation were reversed — you were taking her deer hunting (if you’re a hunting man) — she would be scared and excited and you’d be happy to advise her on how it’s done.

Do your homework. Psych yourself up. Google Jamaica and learn about it. Also make yourself feel safe with your Mom. Make plans about who will watch her, visit, etc. Make plans to contact her on a regular basis while in Jamaica. You can go places in the hotel to email her, for example.

This is called “getting out of your shell” Mike. It’s a new world for you and an exciting world at that. You’ve got the best guide you can get — someone who loves you. This will be a great adventure and hopefully, one of many. Keep in mind, whenever I travel to a different city or country — I do my homework. I Google the location, study it, and get excited about what I’ll do and see. You won’t get homesick if you do your homework. Above all, bring sunscreen!