When Touched by Someone, I Become Weak

Reader’s Question

Hi, I was wondering why whenever someone touches me, I always get weak? My mother says it is all in my head…but is it?

Please get back to me,
-GB

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

GB, you’d didn’t provide much information about age, how long it’s been going on, type of touch, etc. There are several situations where human touch produces weakness or other physical reactions. Some general things to consider:

The most likely cause is a heightened startle reflex. Everyone has a reaction to being touched, especially if surprised. If surprised or startled, this reaction is typically more physical. Under stress, for example, we have the sense we are “jumpy” and are likely to overreact to being touched, surprised, awakened, etc. In anxiety disorders, we often have the sense of being in a combat zone where every noise, sound, and even silence is suspicious and makes us on-guard and fearful. We maintain a sense of hyperalertness. During these times, a casual touch can produce an exaggerated physical response that may look like weakness — it’s actually a strong startle reaction followed by a relaxation response when we realize there is no threat. If you’ve been under a lot of stress, I’d suspect an anxiety disorder with heightened startle reflex.

This situation is also found in folks who have been a victim of physical abuse. The touch serves as a “trigger event” and produces a self-defense in the form of weakness or being passive. It’s like animals who “play dead” when threatened or cornered. If you have a history of childhood physical abuse this may be related to your touch reaction.

Hypersensitivity to touch can also be related to a condition known in the literature as “tactile defensiveness”, although we encounter this in younger children more than adults.

Based on the limited information, I’d suspect the heightened startle reflex. Review your history and look for a high level of stress for a prolonged time. If you have this type of touch problem, you’ll also have problems with sleep, concentration, panic feelings, apprehension, excessive fears in public, the feeling something is always going to happen, etc. Your best bet is to see a psychologist or psychiatrist for an assessment, as hypersensitivity to touch may be only one symptom of a larger condition such as an anxiety disorder.