Family Relocation and Children

Reader’s Question

I was surfing the web and came across the counsellingresource.com website. I am a psychology major myself and going into my 3rd year as an undergrad at George Mason University. My family is deciding to move over the summer to Pennsylvania. My question is what kind of an effect will it have on my 12 year old sister? She will be going into the 7th grade, and I am concerned about what kind of an impact it will have on her academic as well as on her social behavior. My sister has a secure attachment with our mother, but more of a passive attachment with our father. She is a very social person and has just a few best friends and is very caring of others’ feelings. She is also an honor student at her current school and really has an interest in extracurricular activities.

Please let me know how you feel about this. I hope you can understand my concern for her. If you have any kind of extra advice you can provide, it will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Our Consulting Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

As you suspect, moving can be difficult, especially for children. Parents are often very motivated to move — a new job, new home, a positive career move, etc. Children often feel the stress of being separated from friends, school, groups, etc.

When we study what factors are likely to help children adjust to such moves, your sister has all the positive characteristics. Social skills is one of the best indicators and will help her make the adjustment to a new school and neighborhood. Her grades are also a good indicator, suggesting she also has no difficulty dealing with the requirements of the school program. Moving over the summer is often helpful as she can make friends in the neighborhood who will then introduce her in the school system.

In short, while the move will produce some distress in your sister, she is likely to make a positive adjustment. Children who are shy, introverted, have difficulty with schooling, etc. are more likely to have major adjustment problems when a family relocates.

Encourage her to collect email addresses from friends, take pictures of her new home and school to send to friends, and make the relocation a new project rather than a stressful event.